The Achewood A-List! April 14, 2006

April 14, 2006...it's the ACHEWOOD A-LIST, with your host MOLLY SAYS!

What's new at Starbucks...Charley "Little Nephew" Smuckles, surprise of surprises, is actually now at pay scale 3. He inventories the food *and* the hard goods and got certified to troubleshoot all the machines...is he into one of those youth things where he's "straight edge" or "Woody Guthrie-edge" or something? That's the only way I can see that little jerk sticking with anything. Or, maybe he has a crush on the manager, Sandy Liu, a roly-poly Chinese gal with braces. I think hip-hop wannabees like Charley feel like society expects them to always want big-bottomed women. Regular-bottom women need love too! Help me spread the word.

Looks like Ray is paranoid about his health again. Instead of his signature "High Systolic" (for ingredients, see below), he's now having an Earl Grey (size: venti, of course) with a little lemon wedge that he brings in a baggie. I give it three days before he's back to the cookies-n-cream aortic pipe bomb that he's used to.

In non-Starbucks news, Beef keeps talking about getting me a new car. He's all high on his GOF right now, and will probably forget about it, but for the time being I assert that I would like an Isetta.

The Achewood A-list - - My Man's On It!

April 4, 2006...it's the ACHEWOOD A-LIST, with your host MOLLY SAYS!

I'd been telling people he was off helping out his brother Showbiz, but my R. Beef was busy masterminding the greatest victory in the history of the Great Outdoor Fight! A Nate Small and GOF fan since forever, he finally had his chance to shine. The night before he left he drew his and Ray's victory out on paper, and went over it with this particular Nate Small/GOF fan. It looked easier than watching rain fall into a bucket. He calls his system "Farming the Tides," but you didn't read that here.

He's back now, and eating an entire can of Texas Low-Sodium Chili with a poached egg and a little grated mound of cheddar cheese. It's one of his favorite meals, and I made it for him as soon as he woke up. He's already put in a request that we watch Barking Mad, order pizza for dinner, and unplug the phone. I'm all too happy to have him back.