Molly Says

Saturday, July 03, 2004

I am so mad at Gramma K

So like it's not bad enough that Gramma K is completely batty and speaks to the world through some sort of nag filter, but now she's decided that she doesn't like me. This is totally unfair, as I've gone out of my way to be nice to her and not make a mess or noise around the trailer or anything. I've even eaten her horrible cooking on more than one occasion, mostly as a way of being nice to Beef because he always manages to choke the stuff down without making a show. God that woman NEVER remembers to salt the bread she bakes and we're sitting there dipping flour-based packing material into watery pot roast gravy (which she cooks until it's mush btw) while she wanders in and out of our universe speaking on subjects like donating money to her church (even though she's always broke) and how she received some pamphlets in the mail from a man who discovered how you can make your own electricity at home, using water, and never have to pay for it again. Jesus H. Christ I don't know how Beef puts up with it. When she told us about the water thing I just wanted to stick my fork into my forehead but Beef just politely said, "Oh, I don't know, Gramma! It sounds too good to be true!" It's like he's learned how to jog politely around the perimeter of her incompetence in a way that doesn't rile her yet doesn't imply that he agrees with her, either. This place is so dysfunctional.

Anyhow like I was saying she's taken a disliking to me, which is ridiculous because I've been watering all the croaking plants on the front porch and dusting and even sorting all of her TV Guides by chronology. Why do you keep a TV Guide for more than a week? I even help with the dishes. Yet this morning when Beef was leaving to get a USB/PS2 adapter for the new computer he's building me (what a sweetheart!) I heard her ask him when his "friend" was going to go back home because she doesn't like when friends stay over. Apparently it costs too much money and "wears down the fixtures." Who do you think pays the rent on this stinky box, you nasty old woman? If it wasn't for Beef she'd be lying on her side under some abandoned bridge.

Alright, steam steam steam. I'd better quit before I go completely bucknuts.