Water Sports

After we closed up The Smoke tonight Kelly and I lit some cigarettes and had a few drinks. We needed it; it had been a pretty rough night. Russell beat this one drywall worker so bad that the ambulance came, and some other guy took a shit between the pinball machine and the pool table, really close to the outlet.

Even though she's lipstick, Kelly's a total dyke and loves to talk about her sex life with Karen, her partner of five years. Apparently they're really into squirting lately. You know how if you scratch a dog in the right place, its leg shakes uncontrollably? I guess some women can shoot plumes of liquid during orgasm if you work their G-spot in the right way. She was telling me that Karen got her in the eye so hard that she had to wear sunglasses all day Thursday. I've never squirted, but I want to see if I can. I'm probably going to need an easel and a lot of oversized anatomical color printouts if I'm going to convince Beef that it's not urine. Even then he'll probably wear a wetsuit and a welding mask. Who knows, maybe that will heighten the kink. I kind of liked it the time when he hadn't brushed his teeth in a few days and wore a surgical mask so that he wouldn't offend me.